The First Vision – The Price

I was asking God to develop a godly hatred of sin in my heart. I had only been a Christian for about six months and was experiencing deep conviction for my sins. I had not yet found the power in my life to overcome some of the terribly ingrained habits of body and soul that had been imprinted on my life before receiving Jesus. Night after night I prayed for hours that God would set me free from the evil in my heart. Night after night I grew more convinced that I could not just will it away. My friends at the church I attended cautioned me that I was getting to concerned about this. After all, they said, your sins are forgiven. But the cry of my heart was not that my sins would just be forgiven but that I would truly change.

 
As I went to pray again I pressed into God with all my heart. Suddenly it was as if I was taken into a very dark room. It seemed like the darkness fell over my whole being. Then I saw what seemed like fire that began to spread across the whole of my vision. As it came more focused it was like a lake of fire. I began to panic. My whole body began to shake and I felt fear like I have only known once before. I was paralyzed in its grip. The inferno seemed white hot and raging like no fire on earth that I have ever seen. It was as if I was moving along just above the surface of it but nothing was visible except the fire so I could not really know which way I was traveling. At the edge of my vision in front of me I saw a figure in the fire. I began to look carefully and the figure became clear. To my horror I saw myself crying in torment. I was screaming so hard yet no one came to help. I realized that in spite of the great heat I was not burning up. I watched in sheer terror for what seemed to be a long time. With each moment the absolute finality of my fate gripped my soul with unimaginable fear. I had joked with my friends before being saved that I wanted to go to hell since that was where all my friends were going to be. Yet in this vast lake of fire I was alone. I had flippantly said that hell would be where the party was but there was no laughter here. Screaming out in absolute pain I knew there would be no relief for me. No one would bring a sip of water to cool my tongue. There would be no sleep to hide from the terrible flames. Eternal wakefulness and eternal torment. Day and night forever. No one to help me. No one to take pity on me. Eternal aloneness.

 
When I thought I could stand no more but would dissolve into the lake of fire myself, the vision ceased. I lay on the floor weeping. Then the voice of Jesus spoke, "This is what I saved you from."

 
Revelation 20:14 (KJS) And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. 15 (KJS) And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

 
Luke 16:23 (KJS) And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. 24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.

 

Revelation 14:9 (KJS) And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive [his] mark in his forehead, or in his hand, 10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: 11 And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.